If there is a lone crusader in the labyrinthine world of corporate jargon, it’s Lucy Kellaway. A veteran Financial Times columnist, Kellaway has been dissecting and mocking the often preposterous language of the business world for over 25 years. In a recent video, she takes her audience on a fascinating journey through the history of buzzwords, their unintended hilarity, and their unfortunate resilience.
Despite her long-standing efforts, Kellaway confesses that the jargon has only gotten worse. Beginning her critique in 1994, she initially took issue with now-quaint terms like ‘global,’ ‘downsize,’ and ‘marketplace.’ Fast forward to today, and entrepreneurs are declaring themselves “a million percent committed,” stretching mathematical illogic to inconceivable bounds.
Noteworthy is Kellaway’s pointed commentary on Howard Schultz, former CEO of Starbucks. Despite her criticisms, Schultz’s buzzword-laden approach has only accelerated his success, amassing him a fortune of roughly $3 billion.
Kellaway’s ability to make us laugh at the ridiculousness of corporate lingo is perhaps her most meaningful contribution. Terms like “engaging in cell renewal” to describe layoffs, or “strengthening our alumni network” to indicate staff reductions, are revealed for their absurdity.
While Lucy Kellaway may not have succeeded in eradicating corporate buzzwords, she has provided a much-needed comic relief for those of us who cringe every time we hear phrases like “synergistic paradigms” or “value-added solutions.”
So, as we continue to navigate through the corporate world’s lexical maze, let’s celebrate the candid critiques by columnists like Kellaway. If we can’t completely eliminate absurd buzzwords from our business conversations, at least we can learn to laugh at them.
Buzzwords are often misused in ways that are both comical and frustrating. Here are a few examples:
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1. “Synergy”
Intended Meaning: The interaction or cooperation of two or more organizations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects. Misuse: “Our team has a lot of synergy right now!” (Said when the team is actually not working well together, or when the speaker just wants to sound impressive without saying anything substantive.)
2. “Leverage”
Intended Meaning: Use something to its maximum advantage. Misuse: “We need to leverage our lunch break for optimal digestion.” (Overcomplicating a simple activity, making it sound unnecessarily technical.)
3. “Disrupt”
Intended Meaning: To radically change an industry or business strategy. Misuse: “Our new flavored water is going to disrupt the beverage industry!” (Used for a product or service that is hardly innovative or transformative.)
4. “Bandwidth”
Intended Meaning: The range of frequencies within a given band, in particular that used for transmitting a signal. Misuse: “I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with that right now.” (Using a tech term to describe human emotions or availability.)
5. “Innovate”
Intended Meaning: To make changes in something established, especially by introducing new methods, ideas, or products. Misuse: “We’re innovating the way we use paperclips in the office.” (Labeling trivial changes as groundbreaking innovations.)
6. “Deep Dive”
Intended Meaning: A thorough examination of a subject or topic. Misuse: “Let’s deep dive into this bowl of spaghetti.” (Using it for mundane or trivial matters.)
7. “Circle Back”
Intended Meaning: To revisit or follow up on a particular matter. Misuse: “Let’s circle back to whether we should order one or two boxes of paper.” (Used to delay or avoid making simple decisions.)
8. “Ecosystem”
Intended Meaning: A community of interacting organisms and their environment. Misuse: “We’re building an ecosystem of snacks in the break room.” (Inappropriately grandiose for describing a simple collection of items.)
Buzzword misuse can not only create confusion but also lead to eye rolls and a loss of credibility. Use them wisely!